As my dear friend Fizz pointed out, my crabby mood will pass.
And for the most part, it has, actually. After being an insufferable brat all day at work, I had a workshop with Nate Corddry (Rob’s younger brother and fellow east coast transplant) over at Actor’s Key that turned my day around. My scene went incredibly well, and he gave me a couple adjustments that really pulled it all together. Several people stopped me on my way out to tell me what a good job I’d done; and this is my first time back in a true classroom set up in over a year and a half!
Let’s just say, I’m pretty amped for next week’s manager workshop. I’m already starting with the positive thinking thing…
good aura, good karma, good energy…
Ate a champion dinner last night; some gluten free French toast sticks (Ian’s brand) that have sadly changed their recipe since I’ve last had them, but tasty nonetheless; some homemade pumpkin ice cream that the boy and I have determined cannot possibly be improved upon; and a big old hunk of homemade mozzarella, just to see if this whole dairy thing is actually a problem.
So far so good on the tummy front. A little bloating, but that could be attributed to my good friend clawing at my uterus. Both the ice cream and cheese were made with full fat dairy though, so it’s possible I do just need to avoid the low fat stuff.
I actually had a crazy dream last night with someone telling me how carb backloading was really good for me. I have to admit, I’ve been doubting whether or not I’d finally be able to shed these last few pounds with it, but the more I think about it, the better idea it seems.
It’s a diet that doesn’t feel like a diet. Aside from a couple days of chocolate weakness, I’ve been following it without too much of a problem. And most importantly, I haven’t binged or purged in over a month. That’s kind of huge.
I mentioned in my “About Me” and transition over to this blog that Halloween last year is kind of what nudged me to be bulimic in the first place, and I’m happy to report that while I did partake in party snacks, I didn’t purge; I didn’t even binge. I made sure to eat a little something for dinner before I went, and kept tabs on the amount of alcohol I imbibed. I ate a decent amount of “real” food (some veggies, meat/cheese roll ups, and pizza, if that counts as real) mixed in with a couple cookies, but I didn’t have that strong desire for sugar that I normally do, and even didn’t finish one of the frosted cookies because I found it to be overly sweet.
I’m not gonna proclaim that I’m completely cured or anything, because that desire is often still there. When I couldn’t find my wallet Sunday morning, I found myself reaching for candy. I ate one piece, but became aware of what I was doing and put the rest back. Baby steps.
I told Kiefer in my e-mail back that it was helping in my recovery, but I never heard back. I’d be interested to know if anyone else has had success beating an eating disorder switching over to eating this way.
In terms of my weight, and fat to muscle ratio, I’m not quite there. To be honest, while I am definitely stronger than when I began NROLFW, I don’t really see any visual improvements, and that can be attributed to diet.
So taking a leaf out of Fizz’s book, I’m going back to MyFitnessPal even though tracking can sometimes turn me into a neurotic mess. I’m going to attempt to only look at macros, trimming out any hidden daytime carbs and really working to get that sugar intake down. Which probably means less dairy anyway. It was nice while it lasted fresh, homemade mozzarella.
Speaking of NROLFW, I’m heading in into my last couple workouts… Monday and Wednesday next week will be AMRAP days, which seems fitting since my 10k is Sunday. Thank you to those that have donated 🙂 You rock.
My competitive edge is creeping in a bit as I do my slacker training…a co-worker and I checked the times from last year’s 10k, and if I can shave a minute off my PR, I could come in the top 3 for my age group. Now, I don’t run to win races, but that would still be kind of awesome. We’ll see how today’s run goes!
Right now though, I am thoroughly enjoying sitting on my butt on this cushy couch, in my boyfriend’s cozy bathrobe, while I drink piping hot Dunkin Donuts’ coffee in the nicely heated living room. Martha reminded me that we all need time for ourselves. Some of us like to meditate far away from the callings of the day; some of us like to vent in a very public way. Whichever way you choose, try to take at least 5 minutes for yourself today. Ground yourself, and remind yourself that you are powerful, you are strong, and you can kick ass in a major way.
In a little while, I’ll make myself get ready for work. Until then, zen out and be peaceful.