Well hello there Monday morning! Yes, I am doing much better today.
In fact, I’m deliriously happy!
I guess one of the benefits of being bipolar is that even though I do have to deal with the depression days, there are super up days as well!
Why am I in such a good mood?
Well, multiple reasons.
Yesterday I ran the 10k over at Universal Studios Back Lot and had a BLAST. They had different characters doing skits in different areas of the course, had a pretty sweet swag bag with expensive deodorant and of course, shiny medals. And it was awesome because the boy went with me for support, so I got to see his smiling face when I crossed the finish line. I set some mile PRs but my overall time of 1:05 was not amazing thanks to the KILLER hills. Seriously, I went from a very steady, comfortable 8 minute mile all the way to panting at a 14.5. They murdered me. But, I pushed through and still finished pretty strong, so I was happy about that.
After the race, I ate a delicious crepe and some fries, the boy and I enjoyed a day at Universal, went to see Wreck it Ralph (which is AMAZING) and then he took me to a fancy dinner at the Odyssey. It was BEAUTIFUL. We sat outside and had views of the entire valley. It was crazy the way is sparkled. And the weather was perfect. Plus, the FOOD was insanely good. Chicken tortilla soup, salad, lamb and prime rib, plus a PUMPKIN PIE MARTINI and a really nice bottle of Riesling. I couldn’t have asked for a better anniversary.
Falling in love as an adult is so much different than it was in high school. I mean, obviously saying it out loud it sounds like a no brainer, but when you’re young and become infatuated easily, it’s not hard to profess your undying love for someone; you’ve really got nothing to lose.
But as an adult, I’d become more guarded, jaded, cynical, and most important, insecure. The concept of love seemed silly to me after my last break up; my longest experience with a “loving relationship” (save for my amazing grandparents) was a completely dependent, soul-sucking existence that felt more like work than happiness.
So over the course of the past couple of years, I’d developed this attitude that love didn’t exist, merely convenient beneficial relationships. And boy was I a joy to be around.
Enter TJ, who told me before we even hung out, let alone start dating, that all I needed to be happy was a little of him in my life. While it was one of the more creative lines I’d been given, I still laughed it off.
Until we actually did hang out… and it was awesome. No pressure, no weird vibes; it just felt so easy and natural. When we started dating, I was super determined not to fall too hard, but he made that really difficult on me. Here was someone who actually listened to what I had to say, called me out on my shit, dealt with my crazy and made me incredibly happy. And before I knew it, my attitude had shifted again.
So that’s where I am now. Deliriously happy, as I said. And despite any reservations I may have had, It’s a really good feeling.