My tummy hurts.

I’ve got a confession to make: I’m terrible when I’m drunk. Depending on my mental state before inebriation (leaning more anxious or depressed) I get super sad, or super mean. I’m also terrible at knowing when I’m getting drunk. Usually it’s because I drink so quickly that one second, I feel fine, and then the next second I’m waking up the next morning wondering how I got home, hoping I didn’t drunk eat my way through the kitchen. (you know what I’m talking about…)

Last night was no exception, and thanks to the University of Miami, I got smashed at the Roosevelt. What’s funny, however, is that all I wanted for the evening was for my boyfriend to find me attractive. It’s documented on instagram. True story.

Instead, I wind up intimidated in a room full of people and start to feel crazy self conscious, and then 5 glasses of wine later… well, you can figure out the rest.

“Why didn’t you eat something, Sam?” So glad you asked! I planned on it; I saved 800 calories for free stuff! And then everything going around on trays was either ON bread or IN bread of some kind. I finally had a piece or two of sushi, but it was too late.

I really need to get a handle on it, mostly for other people’s sakes. I mean, my boyfriend WAS super attentive last night! I had nothing to be freaking out about! But I did, and now I regret it and such is life. Maybe I need one of those medical ID bracelets that diabetics wear, except mine will say “bipolar – do not give more than 2 drinks without substantial food.”

But that’s not why my tummy hurts. Nope.

Along with the rest of my body, I KILLED my core in the gym yesterday. I don’t think my abs have been this sore in a LONG time. I really hope that means it’s working…

“What are these magical moves, Sam?” So glad you keep chiming in! Here’s what I did:

Leg raises!


Bosu Planks!


Roman Twists with a Med Ball!


The burpees probably contributed a bit as well. My whole workout is over at Fitocracy if you wanna check it out before you WATCH THE CANES ROCK THE SWEET 16!


Don’t mind me… I don’t even like basketball. I’m just happy a team from the []_[] is doing well at something so I can show some school pride.

And, for your viewing pleasure, further proof that Jenna Marbles and I are soulmates:

“If I eat popcorn, I don’t just eat popcorn. I EAT THE POPCORN”

“You know when you’re like, squishy…”
Yes Jenna, all the time.


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