Guys, I’ve figured it out!
No, not what I want to do with my career (unfortunately)… why I love CrossFit so much!
It’s because it’s like gym class, but this time around I can actually DO things.
There’s no bullies laughing at me, I don’t have to change in front of skinny girls who look at me funny, and I don’t forge notes to try and get out of it.
Okay, I may whine on Twitter when the WOD looks hard, but I show up anyway and GET. SHIT. DONE.
Mostly I liken it to gym class because of one thing: rope climbs.
Back in elementary, middle AND most of high school, I was the fat kid in gym class. Like, Cartman fat.
I was picked on a lot, no one wanted me on their team, and quite honestly, I just started to tell myself I wasn’t capable of succeeding at anything athletic. (Despite my great little league batting average and years of dancing. Thank you negative self-talk at such a young age!)
So when it came to things like running or climbing the rope, I never even tried. I was too afraid to fail. Kids already made fun of me for being overweight… I didn’t want to give them additional cannon fodder.
And instead of encouraging me, or scaling the exercises, my gym teachers just gave up on me. They started expecting the notes excusing me from class and looked on, bored, as I lazily strolled around the track. Would their encouragement have motivated me to be more active and lose weight sooner? I don’t know; maybe, maybe not… but it wouldn’t have killed them as educators to try, right?
Anyway, I’ve had two opportunities since starting CrossFit to climb the rope. Friday I chose to pull myself up from the ground to standing, and hang & jump. I was too afraid to try to climb and fail.
Wednesday, I was juiced up. I’d already been the slowest at running and rowing; I wanted to prove to myself that I was capable of overcoming my negativity. So I grabbed the rope, wrapped my leg and formed a clamp. And slowly but surely, I climbed my way to the ceiling.
Normally, I’m terrified of being at that height. But in that moment, I felt INCREDIBLE.
I know, it’s not a huge deal; even my boyfriend was surprised I’d never climbed a rope before. But to me it was such a huge accomplishment. I was not only physically able to do it, but more importantly I was MENTALLY able to do it. When I got down and Coach Katie gave me a high five, it really felt like a huge f*ck you to every bully that has ever picked on me. Y’all can suck it!
The rest of the week was pretty solid. CrossFit is definitely challenging my lifts in new ways, so I’ve had to drop a lot of the weight down. My regular bench was around 85# a couple months ago… close grip this morning I had to go down to 65# but it still felt good. Yesterday’s “Bear Complex” KILLED me (5 rounds of 5 cycles: Power Clean to Front Squat to Push Jerk to Back Squat to Push Jerk) but I managed to work up to 59#.
My eating has been in check and as a result, I already see everything tightening up. I’ve been counting calories, but mostly just trying to eat intuitively and not denying myself anything. I’ve had paleo lunches all week, last night was the first time I’ve had alcohol since last Saturday AND I only had one glass. I’ve had the urge to binge a couple times but I’ve managed to talk myself down. I even opened a bag of pop chips yesterday, counted out a serving and didn’t go back for more; another huge accomplishment for me. I think it helps that I’ve been drinking a TON of water and increased my healthy fat intake again.
My experience with High Voltage so far has been really positive, and has inspired me not only my own fitness journey, but in creating new paths for others… specifically kids.
I worry that too many kids don’t receive that encouragement in gym and because of it, give up on themselves. I’m excited to say that I’ve been given the green light through the store to create a training program for kids where we’ll play games that keep them active while having fun. It’ll be extra work, especially with the marathon training program going on at the same time, but it’ll totally be worth it.
Looking forward to a low-key weekend and then hitting it hard again next week 🙂